Predatory Females
So often we hear the stories of men who are trolling the night clubs looking for women to pick up for one night stands that we don't pay attention to the stories that appear about the predatory female.
There are old jokes about women on the prowl and men have labeled these women with terms like slut, whore, cougars etc. but you really don't hear about the true predator who uses men for her own career advancement, social status, and even her basic needs.
For many years in the past families would use the term "she needs to marry well" to insinuate the daughter should marry a man not for love but for social standing and security. Men were admonished not to marry beneath themselves. That is still true for the most part with old established families. It was not considered unnatural for a women's family to check a man's financial status prior to allowing their daughters to marry or even be courted.
This formality is rarely done now but in some families it is understood that children will not date those who are not accepted socially and have the approval of their families. Women of the current generation for the most part rarely do this anymore but...some women have learned to use it to their advantage and will not date anyone who is not financially stable.
I personally do not see any harm in checking out the background and financial status of a person who you are dating and getting emotionally involved with. It can affect you in the future if you are not aware especially if your partner has a terrible credit rating or has filed bankruptcy in the past etc.
Now there are many women in the job market who begin a campaign to gather favor from their bosses, superiors etc because they know that it will help to provide them with financial security.
Many men in top positions are courted by women on their staff in hopes the men will help them advance if they provide sexual favors etc. and this is a common reality now. We used to joke about this and call it "sleeping your way to the top"!
Sometimes the tactic worked but for the most part when inter office relations were started it was always the women in the subordinate position who was let go when the relationship ended. Very rarely will a man leave his family to create a new relationship with someone he is having an office affair with.
The one scenario you don't see covered too often is the female that makes it a habit to pursue her friends husbands and boyfriends. It is a challenge to her and she does it because she feels power over the female she is competing with. It is this type of predator that I wish to investigate a lot closer.
The act of deceit and betrayal that is at the bottom of this type of relationship runs very deep and the competitive, distrustful behavior starts early in the females life..and usually escallates during her high school years. This is a game she learns to cultivate and the men she conquers really are of no use to her for it is the act of "besting" her friend or taking something her friend cherishes that excites and motivates her.
This time of female is the true predator. The one who psychologically has a calculating mind, who does not feel remorse about harming another and who is truly displaying borderline psychopathy.
The females in question are usually narcissistic and are oblivious to the pain of those they compete with. They are not just stealing a boyfriend or husband but they gain power from the act.
Sometimes in the work environment this type of female is so competitive that they will sabotage another's chance for advancement and create havoc in another's life by gossip and innuendo. They can be and are dangerous companions for those who cross them especially when they are pursuing a male they desire at the time.
Many women have experienced betrayal at the hands of their "best friends" and the women involved are not the predatory type but have stepped over a boundary and they cannot stop the momentum once they fall in love. This type of female is one who has found a little excitement with an illicit affair and let it get out of hand hurting those she truly does care about.
The true predator has no remorse. Her goal is to cause chaos and pain and thereby gain power by doing so.
There are no simple solutions to the problems that come from having a jealous predatory women as a friend. Although avoiding this kind of friend is the best solution but you cannot always tell if a women friend is truly a predator. You can watch how she handles her relationships and if you don't approve how she treats others you should surmise that perhaps you need to evaluate why you need this type of person in your life at all.
In summary I don't want to bring fear into the hearts of anyone but to inform that sometimes we need to evaluate those we have as friends and examine closely why we need them. If alarm bells go off about the way they treat others then you should know that you should be on guard as well.
I have found my women friends to be my best allies and I have fought continuously throughout my career for women's rights and their rights especially in the workplace but I have also been aware through my career as a counselor the dark side of the female we don't often talk about and maybe we should.
Blessings to all this day and I hope if you have stories of you own about this topic that you will blog and give us your point of view about it!
taking calls tonight on Keen!
My preditory female companions suffered the most terrible humiliating demise...but this "lesson" seemed to have caused them to be even more resentful, and destuctive. 