The main reason why people aren't capable of staying together for longer than they expect is the fact they hold themselves back from what they feel the most. They fail to be honest with themselves.

Trying to be someone you're not. And when you realize this in the end, the relationship falls apart like a crumbling cookie. You have to love yourself and be comfortable with yourself before you can make someone else happy. Resolving issues and mending your heart to take on another task of love, hoping you won't have to do this once again. Do things that make you feel wonderful inside, bringing up your self esteem so you are able to glow.

Otherwise, you're going to be miserable, and leave your partner in a state of confusion trying to figure out how to make their partner happy.

Eventually they’ll leave when all of their feelings for you have departed. And you’re forced to either remain the same lonely, depressed person inside. Or leave the BS at the door, and rather than being self loathing, you’re going to be radiant showing your partner that you really mean what you feel for them.

The biggest problem people have is comparing their current partner’s actions with actions of previous partners they've endured. Yes you do learn from your mistakes, but keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes, we're only human. Some can be excused, and some need to be addressed in a timely manner. Be comfortable talking to your partner. If you can't talk about it in a civilized manner, there is no reason to be together, cause neither of you could trust one another without questioning the others actions.

Yelling (griping, bickering, complaining) at one another WILL NOT solve anything. Going somewhere else and cooling off before you confront one another is the best alternative. Statistics say an argument is healthy (sometimes), not every time. Remember in an argument, words that are spoken hurt deep down (to either a man or woman). So if you've never meant it, you should have never said it to begin with. Words  can't ever be taken back, only never to be said twice.

In the fit of rage, your conscious is thrown out the window. And what you would rather keep to yourself WILL COME OUT.  Making what seemed to be a simple resolution turn out to be a fully fledged war between the both of you.

Revenge will only escalade the problem, making the situation 10x worse. If it's petty, drop it. If you're wrong admit it and move on (this means both WOMEN and MEN). And, if you know you're right, prove it with facts, rather than repeating what has already been proven. If the subject has been resolved, don't bring it up again later on in another argument. If it bothers you that much, leave. You're only going to hurt yourself and others in the process. Love IS blind, but if you're capable of opening your eyes to it, you'll grow old with the only person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Though, if it's a question they refuse to answer, it's not going to be answered by your friends either. Keep your friends out of your relationship, unless they have insight that will help you and your partner thrive. Otherwise it will only make the situation worse on your behalf.

Friends do see things you’re to blind to see. But sometimes they can make a relationship turn for the wrong because they don't see the big picture like you do. They only see a part of it, and like any human they act upon it. Just like yourself, if you seen something in one of your friends relationships, you are going to confront your friend and address without thinking it out entirely.

If it MUST be addressed, do so. But don't put your partner on the spot unless it's necessary. Otherwise if they are lying, they're going to continue. And you'll be back to square one thinking of another way to catch them in the "act". Your mind WILL fester with anger and resentment towards your partner. And the only option you'll have left is to leave. Or your partner will leave for you in the fit of frustration.

 
SO my advice would be; rather than argue, take a time to chill out (I mean everyone) and come back when you can resolve without anger. If you’re not comfortable with the situation, more than likely it's not going to get any better. Follow your gut instincts. It’s the only truth to your well being.

Make a checklist of what you want, and what you need. Be honest this time; don’t try to lie to yourself. What you want is NOW, and what you need is what you will live with for the rest of your life. You'll find a lot about yourself that you've tucked away for so many years. This won't help you entirely with finding that special someone, but it will give you insight to what you really need or want.

Remember, the want is A CRAVING, and the Need is what you'll have for your future, provided you're willing to endure the trials and tribulations that come with love. Your (I Need) Person will most likely be the one you grow old with. The wants are those that take the edge off and usually remain short and to the point. Your wants will also prepare you for your needs though. Just think about it...

Tags: Relationships Problems Resolution Counseling Depression

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