Are you suffering with control issues?

Most of us want to manipulate and control our circumstances and these are fear-based emotions.  The reality is we’re here on earth to learn to let go of our fear-based emotions such as prejudice, blaming others, selfishness, jealousy, envy, and greed to name a few. 

The desire to manipulate and control is a big fear.  Although you may feel that this does not apply to you it probably does when you really investigate your motivation, and I suggest that you consider this fact that you don’t have to be in control to survive.

You can detach from the conflicts and confusion in your life by simply refusing to try to control the outcome. When you set boundaries that you will not cross it will become clearer to you. 

In the following process, ask yourself each question, and then listen for the first thought that comes up in response.

Do-It-Yourself Control Process

•      Who do you think you are trying to control in your life right now (a partner or lover, your inlaws, friends, boss, associates, etc.)?

•      Why do you feel you need to control them or the situation? What do you fear might happen if you let go of the fear and just let things occur naturally?

•      What if the worst case scenario that you can think of did happen? What is the impact it would have on you?

•      What if you were to let the fear disappear by letting go and allowing circumstances to flow to their logical conclusion? Could you live with the results?

•      Which choice is the one that would advance your soul's evolution? Letting go or continuing to live in fear of letting go and not being in control?

•      Can you let go and give up your expectations? If the other person comes through, great. If they don’t come through, that’s okay too.

Usually, attempts to control are an effort to get someone else to change -- to become what you want them to be. But you can’t walk another’s life path. It doesn’t work no matter how hard you try.  When you do get what you want occasionally, you can make a safe bet it won’t last. The other person will be repressing who they really are just to please you and no one can do that for long.  Resentment will occur and you will have to live with consequence sooner or later.

In the case of severe conflicts, sometimes the only way to be responsible to you and release control is to remove yourself from the conflictive environment.  If you’re going to stick around, you should ask yourself “what do you have to lose by just mentally standing over in the corner and observing"?

Do you surrender or -- Do you create Your Own Reality?

A psychic friend of mine asked me, “Will you address the issue of ‘surrender’ and define what part it plays in the release of control"?

Since most of us believe we are the director,   we don’t want to surrender to some higher power, even though we believe in a higher source. We want to be in charge even though we sense that there is a certain amount of predestination and if we could sometimes just surrender and release control, we might possibly get out of the way of the greater good that will come from releasing.

The question that comes without a doubt after that is who the hell is deciding my greater good?  It’s a tough issue for me.  Carolyn Myss is big on it ... and Wayne Dyer ... and many other mystics. How exactly does it fit in with creating our own reality?”

Classic surrender, as defined by many others, is a matter of switching from mind to no-mind, from ego to egolessness.

Some of our learned teachers advocate surrender would also have you meditating whenever you’re not selling flowers on street corners to support some commune they support!

The idea of switching to egolessness is really double-speak -- nice words for crap. Every expression of ego is an expression of a fear-based emotion such as prejudice, possessiveness, greed, envy, jealousy, insecurity (fear of not being important enough), blame, resentment, repression, et cetera. There are no exceptions.

No one can just switch off all their fear-based emotions, not even the so-called mystics or teachers. Your fear-based emotions define your karma, and it will probably take quite a few lifetimes to eliminate all of it.

Surrender is the idea of doing your very best and then detaching from the outcome. Your job on earth is to act. The result is God’s business.

You incarnated to resolve your karma.  Most of us have chosen to complete tasks that will require us to work, pay our bills and be responsible to our loved ones. We need to live in the moment and create our own reality.  This happens when we are responsible to the present and the future will follow.

Now, let’s address predestination.  Current research shows that many of the key events in our lives are predestined but that does not mean the outcomes are predetermined.

Free will is always factored into the equation, and the real test has to do with how we respond to the situations.

 We can see evidence of predestination at work in the world on a regular basis.  A parting appears to be predestined in a marriage that is troubled for example, so why not surrender and just let it happen?

The reasoning is simple for if the couple were to surrender to divorce, they would miss out on all the growth that will result from going through the test -- the process of resolving the conflict.

 There are no coincidences and by establishing new agreements and being patient with each other they can resolve the crisis and advance their souls.  If they chose to leave instead of surrendering and letting go of control, they are losing a valuable step to enlightenment.

Control is an illusion that never reaps spiritual rewards.  It keeps us stuck in an endless cycle of worry and unhappiness.  It fosters the negative emotions that we are here on earth to get rid of.  So use your mind to reprogram your ideas about control and the use of it.  Let go and let God should be your mantra!

Blessings to you this lovely weekend and I hope you find joy and enjoy the outcome!

Rosie

Tags: Relationships Metaphysical Partners

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