“He who seeks revenge should dig two graves” – Chinese Proverb

           I have a client who calls me periodically about an ex-boyfriend who she dreams of exacting revenge upon.  I feel sorry for this client as I do not feel this ex-boyfriend of hers will ever come back and that her fantasy of revenge will never be carried out.  This client is only hurting herself by fantasizing about her vengeance towards this ex as he is living his life without thinking about the perceived hurt he has caused her. 

         In my younger years, I hated a family member so much that I wanted them to live in the hell that I was putting myself through (although I did not know I was inflicting this personal hell on myself at the time).  This family member had abused me and the memories were flooding back into my soul. 

         I was at a turning point…do I forgive this person or do I continue to harbor resentment, hurt, pain, frustration, hatred and revenge…oh yes I wanted revenge!  I fantasized hurting this person as much as I perceived the hurt this person had put me through. 

          As I processed the abuse of my childhood from this particular family member, I realized I was only hurting myself.  I was digging the two graves the Chinese proverb counsels us about.  If I didn’t cut it out that grave would be closer than I could have ever imagine!

         Another family member and I were having lunch together one summer day.  This family member does not realize or understand why the other family member who abused me and the reason to why I do not get along with them.  When I talked to this family member at lunch that day, she told that this particular family member has a horrible marriage and this person’s children are either drug addicts or alcoholics.  In that moment, I felt a bit of compassion for this individual.  I realized my life was not nearly as messed as this abusive family member’s life and that I did not need to exact revenge on this person.  I left that lunch feeling sorry for this abusive family member.

           Today, I continue to pray for this person.  This abusive family member may never get the help they need to or even be aware of the damage that they have done.  I know in my heart it is up to me to forgive this person not only for them but to free me as well.  I want to be free to enjoy a life full of peace, joy, and harmony!

This morning I had a client who is dealing with difficult people in her workplace.  My client has a tendency to react badly and look like the instigator.  I tried to counsel her that instead of blaming them that she needed to look inside herself for the way she was reacting.   

I could relate to this particular type of client on so many levels.  In my past interactions, I, too reacted in anger.  I react period and looked like the idiot. 

I had a recent experience that would explain how much work it took not to commit murder one.  A former friend of mine and I had entered into a business deal.  This person was very laxed on her part of it.  This person did not write up a written agreement as I had requested.  They also did not show up for final business meetings in order to finish up the project nor did this person meet the deadlines.  All in all, I would not do business with this person in the future and wished I hadn't signed up for the deal in the first place.  When I told this person I was ending the deal, they became very angry and volatile.  They were bordering on restraining order behavior.  To every one email I wrote, this person wrote four scathing, nasty email threatening me at every turn.  I had paid this person half of the money and they wanted their other half. 

In one of their correspondence, they wrote they wanted no more communication etc.  So I complied because I did not want to deal with this person on any level.  I also decided to pay them off.  We decided to meet on a particular day.  I knew I had to be the consistent one after I received another email from this person making excuses as to why they were having difficulty, etc.  I stood by my word and original plan on meeting on that particular day.  I received a self-righteous email.  I did not react to it as this person wanted me to and played it off. 

We met on that particular day.  I was nervous as hell.  I said as little as possible with the final meeting.  I had this particular person sign a Release that they had received the money and the deal was closed.  This person insulted me and called me vulgar names.  I just walked away relieved that my dealings with them were over.

I learned a lot from this particular deal.  I decideswho stays in my life.  I control how I react to others and that determines the outcome.  It is none of my business what this particular individual thinks of me. (This is easier said than done for me as I am a people pleaser).  I wish this person well and pray for them daily but I do not need this energy in my life. 

Although it easier said than done, I have to live with me.  I walked away from this deal learning to trust my initial first gut reaction which was to stay away from this type of individual and that no one needs to treat me in a bad way only if I let them...

A friend of mine recently returned from a trip to California.  She is originally from the Western New York area.  Western New York as some of you may already has a tremendous amount of snow during the months of November to April. 

Anyways, my friend started to criticize the Western New York area.  She stated that Western New York wasn't as cultured, clean, and revitalized as the west coast.  I have to admit I took offense to her comments.  I never have been on the west coast nor do I have a burning desire to venture out west at this time.  I realized that there is no place like home!

When I was younger, I wanted more than anything to leave this area.  I loathed the long cold winters, blowing and drifting snow, and the wonderful lake effect machine known as Lake Erie.  I would complain and tell my parents that I would do anything to leave the frozen tundra of the north.  My mother would give me the old look of get real Amy and deal with it. 

I did have a chance to move to Florida when I was in my mid-twenties.  I visited Florida frequently and would go there for two to three weeks in February every year.  A friend of my mother's offered for me to move there after one visit.  I thought about it and at first I was ready to jump at the chance...but then I thought about my family, friends, and job here in the Western New York.  After much consideration, I turned the offer down. 

Thinking back, I see how foolish, immature, and whiny I was about living here.  I am grateful to be here and if I make it out west great...if not there is no place like home!

With all these retrogrades it is no wonder I have decided to clear out old junk.  I am also moving in September, so the time is right for me to get rid of the clutter.  I feel this physical clutter also entails emotional clutter. 

When clearing out clutter, here are some ways to get through the emotional piece of it. 

1.)  If there is any emotion attached to your clutter, feel it and move on. 

2.)  Try to move past it.  Try not to dwell on "what could have been."  Look at the positive aspects.

I know from personal experience that once you move past it, the weight of the past does leave.  It feels like you have lost 50 pounds! 

Life is too short to hang on to the past.  Make the most of the present so you can have a wonderful future!

If you would like further guidance on clearing out relationships, emotional clutter I can be reached at angelicamy35@yahoo.com.

 

 

The holidays and I have had a weird relationship. 

For the most part, I have dreaded the arrival of the holiday season which seems to arrive earlier and earlier each year.  I would turn on the radio only to hear the songs of the season to be played the day after Halloween! 

I look back at times past with dread, admiration and appreciation.  I was a Jehovah's Witness for nearly ten years which meant I would not celebrate holidays for they preached it was against God.  I learned to be adaptable and "go with the flow."  This usually meant that I would go out to dinner by myself or with other Jehovah's Witnesses who had family who celebrated the evil holidays.

Now, I am learning to adapt to a new holiday tradition.  I am slowly healing from the past holiday family drama where my family origin would cause chaos.  I am learning new holiday traditions.  I know it is not easy for some to celebrate the holidays.  The past does play a factor but time does heal all wounds...slowly but surely life can be enjoyed even around the holidays...

 

The day we brought Kaye home was trying for me and my boyfriend.  She was unlike any other cat whom was before her...I mean my male cat named Simba was loud, confident and affectionate.  When I brought home Simba, he jumped out of his crate and looked the place as if he owned the joint.   In fact, he drinked from the toilet the very first hour!  LOL!

It was a few months after Simba made his way into our hearts when we decided it was time for another cat.  My boyfriend and I went to our local cat shelter one Sunday afternoon in early August.  We saw this timid girl with big sparkling green eyes which would capture anyone's heart...the cat we chose was named Kaye. 

Kaye was a year older than Simba and a Gemini!  Kaye hid for two weeks.  We introduced Simba and Kaye one afternoon.  Simba was his usual open self...Kaye proceeded to growl at her brother...

It has taken her until now for her to accept us.  She and Simba are now inseparable.  My boyfriend comments about she is a different than the one we brought home in August.  She lies next to me in bed when I am on the phone taking calls.  She jumps up on my boyfriend's lap when he is on the laptop. 

Kaye has taught me with time and patience you can truly be the person who want to be...so let us be patient with ourselves!  Time does heal all wounds...right Kaye?!

 

I learned a healing modality back in 2002 which I wish to make you aware of...it is called Integrated Energy Therapy (IET).

This healing modality involved working directly with the angelic realm.  I have a special affinity with the angelic realm since my Near Death Experience (NDE) in 2000.  I was introduced to IET by a friend of mine whom preached of its benefits as well as its miracles. 

Unlike like Reiki you channel the angelic energy using the Archangel Ariel  and the other archangels.  I wish to introduce those interested in IET in future blogs.  For more information, please consult me.   I will post future blogs on workshops in our chatrooms. 

Blessings,

Amy

 

Hi Sweet Souls!

It is good to be back from my summer sabatical.  I don't know about you but once the children get back to school, it is my signal to get serious and back to my level of responsibility. 

This summer has been a trying one.  I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in May.  I decided to pull away for awhile in order to heal myself and regroup my energy.  At first, I felt sorry for myself.  I didn't tell anyone for a few weeks.  Then I went into survivor mode.  I did research on healing myself since the doctors initially wanted to remove most of my cervix.  I knew in my heart that wasn't the way to go!

I got back to the basics.  I looked within myself to see why the cancer had manifested itself in my body once again.  (I had cervical cancer 15 years ago and healed myself without too much surgery). 

For the past year or so I have been working on healing some deep seated anger and resentment especially towards my mother.  I also looked at this experience as my "wake up" call to what I was putting into my body dietarially. 

All these factors culminated into a phenominal healing session.  In August, I went to my Integrated Energy Therapist instructor/healer for a session.  (Integrated Energy Therapy is a healing modality like Reiki but uses angels.  For more information, please see the www.learnIET.com website.  I will also do some more future blogs on the subject of healing.)  In the session, I asked the angels to help me release the remaining anger I felt towards my mother and help me to begin the process of forgiving her.  It worked!

Since my healing session, the cancer is going away.  I am still under a doctor's supervision but I have always held the philosophy that it is the doctor who does the diagnosing but it is my responsibility to look within myself to see what needs to be healed and why.

I am no way advocating forfeiting seeking medical treatment for a qualified physician.  I feel Western and Eastern medicine both have benefits. 

This morning I awoke going to my daily Zumba in a bad mood.  I mean I have gone begrudgenly lately.  When I arrive, I am reminded why I GO!

 

I have suffered some back issues throughout my life.  When I was 9, I fell on ice only feel paralyzed.  I was fortunate that my 4th grade teacher was able to get me up.  Then, throughout my early teens I had minor issues with scoliosis.  (Scoliosis is a curvature to the spine like an "S" which can be corrected with a brace).  At the age of 16, I had a major car accident where a tractor trailer hit my car on my side and had to be takened from my car with the "jaws of life."  (The "jaws of life" is a construction vehicle where the paramedics will open your vehicle removing the vehicle's roof so the paramedics may extricate you.)  Then to top it all off, I fell on a wet floor only to herniate a disc in my lower back.  I was bed ridden off and on for six months.

 

What is my point?  I remember how amazing the human body is!  I discovered zumba over six months and have little or no back issues since!

 

I do visit the chiropractor for good measure but feel lucky I am no longer on painkillers such as Lortabs, Demerol, or Codeine.  Yes, I do monitor myself if my back acts up but as long as I can dance with the passion I have with the help of zumba...I lead a very full and happy life!   SO LIVE YOUR PASSION!